SUMMARY OF BOOKS IN PROGRESS
So I'm working on several new projects:
Javie is a kid in conflict. He is an excellent student with a good family who lives in the barrio. Jose is such a good track star that he has the possibility of a scholarship when he graduates. Right now he is in the 9th grade in a middle school. The local gang Sanger St. 41 wants him to be jumped in and all his local friends belong. His girlfriend hates the idea. While drunk at a party and passed out in a Studebaker on the front lawn, he dreams of his old village in Mexico and meets some interesting people.
My Friend Pam Knows Everything
(there is always a backstory)
Pam was not born a genius, not a real genius at least. They will not be studying her brain in years to come. We (her friends and I) do not really understand how this iteration of Pam came into being. What we do know is that she was born to educated and interesting parents. Her small family (three kids) traveled all over the world to different army bases and she was always “the new kid”. Maybe that was it …..a new kid has to make a statement, become a someone pretty fast. Maybe Pam developed this talent as a way in, and then honed it through the years to become this goddess of knowledge.
And because she knows everything from jewelry, make-up, mattresses, traveling, relationships, Costco, 17,000 ways to use a drumel, and pretty much anything you want to know I have been working on just a few helpful things that go on in that big brain of hers.
How she does this without becoming annoying....I don't know.
Alex (49) is an agoraphobic living in Santa Barbara with her dog Franklin D. She has not left her house in 4 years, but has a thriving video porn business, using Sarah her best friend as the "porn star" who meets with the customers online. Sarah gets involved online with a Mexican drug lord, and becomes a target, not only of the police but also the drug lord. Alex must leave the house to help her.
SCOTTY AND MAX
Max is autistic and his brother Scotty has to take care of him. It's a big job to keep Max safe from the bullies at school.
MY BOOKS IN PROGRESS...
I'm going to do something really stupid ( it will not be the first time) and put my potential books in this space and actually work on them here. It might motivate me to do the work....maybe...
I'm a paragraph. Click here to add your own text and edit me. I’m a great place for you to tell a story and let your users know a little more about you.
Javie! Javie! Javie!
Javier could hear the stands screaming from his place at the starting blocks. He couldn't hear anything else. He tried to block out the sound and looked straight ahead 100 yards. "Focus Javie, focus" he actually said out loud to himself, not caring that the guy next to him heard him. His muscles tensed as he waited for the sound of the gun. Bang! He left the blocks like they had never been there. His eyes never looked down and he drove it home.
For several minutes, he leaned over his knees and breathed. Usually, he was almost never completely out of breath; his coach called it but right now, he felt as if his breath was almost gone. Hands patted him on his back as he heard everyone yelling for what seemed like a long time. Then he heard it. Javier Lopez has taken the Southern California record for the 100 with a time of 10.50 . Unbleliveable!
As soon as he could catch his breath, he looked up in the stands searching for his father. Angela was with his mom and his dad. Javie smiled and waived, and then immediately started thinking about the next race, the 200 meter, his least favorite. It was of course twice as long as the 100 meter, so indurance entered in, but also it was a not just a straight shot, a little gamesmenship was a part of the 200. For one thing, he had some serious competition. There was Allen, the guy from Compton, and Smith, the guy from Sacramento. Both of these guys were so strong and so fast. Javier was only a little worried. He was more worried about the relay.
He wasn't worried about his performance, although it did come late in the day and not long after the 200, but he was worried about the 3 others on the team. Manuel had "fumble fingers" and sometimes wiggled the baton, and couple of times just dropped it, and Fergeson who was the lead was fast enough, but with Jones and Manuel, he might have to run like crazy to win.
Javier didn't have to worry about the 200. He won easlily, and now it was time for the relay. He wasn't big on pep talks, but the coach wasn't allowed on the field and Javier knew they were going to get a lot of trash talk out there before the race. Hell, they had already gotten a load of it in all the previous races, and just most of the day. He was getting used to it.
He walked out on the field and gathered the three boys around him. "Manuel, let me see your hand" as Manuel pushed his hand towared the middle, Javier slapped the baton into it. He slapped it in again. He must have done it five times at least.
"Feel it dude. Do you feel it? That's where it's going to be. Nice and tight" He then turned to Jones. "Can you get it there?" Jones nodded. Fergeson was stretching his hamstrings, laughed and said " I am so ready" "All right then! Let's do it!" Javier crossed himself and stepped back.
Fergeson crossed himself as he got ready. Javier thought Fergeson was a good sprinter, maybe a great sprinter, at least he might have been if he hadn’t been a white guy, and worked two jobs.
The electronic buzzer went off, but the Compton team had a false start. You could only have one of those. They lined up again. Javier crossed himself now
The start!! Fergeson got off well, Jones was ready and when the baton was passed to him, he started well and so far they were ahead. Jones was the slowest one on the team, so when Miguel started running, his hand back to grasp the baton, their team was a little behind. Miguel was able to gain and they now had a slight lead.
Javier took off, hand back and ready. Miguel slipped it right in his hand, and he ran like the wind, like a hurricane, like a straight tornado, and when he crossed the finish line, he was easily a foot ahead of the closest guy.
He collapsed on the ground and before he had time to return to semi-normal breathing, Manuel, Jones and Fergeson had all jumped on him. Javier laughed as the announcer pronounced the name of their city and their school wrong, but yelled out their time. 41.30! Another record broken!
The four of them stood close together as they received their medals and the deafening applause from the stands. As Javier looked up at his parents and his girlfriend, he thought that he had never been so proud, and yet he knew that something was wrong.
That was Saturday,
Monday morning Mr. P. had one of his crazy assemblies. He had them once a week, and some of them were so loud you couldn’t hear yourself think. “This one is going to be the craziest” Javier thought.
Javier sat with his “boys” Juan, Carlos, Manuel, Alberto, and Manny. He always sat with them on the first row of the risers. Alberto and Juan had on the signature white t-shirts and jeans. Manuel and Javier had their letterman jackets. They had just gotten them because Mr.P asked the PTA to buy them for a few of the athletes that couldn’t afford them. Mr. P was like that, even though he was a kind of fat white guy everyone thought he was pretty cool.
“Are we going to wake up the neighbors!” Mr. P, yelled into the microphone.
“Are you all wimps? I can’t hear you!”
“Are you kidding me? That’s the best you can do?”
“YES! YES! YES!”
“Who are we?”
“Alright then, Cory lead the pledge.”
After the pledge, Mr. P. stood up again and waited for silence. He pointed to a couple kids and soon it was quiet. “ Today is a great day for high school. This is the day that we celebrate our athletes from all the spring sports. You know about spring don’t you Mel; you know, it comes after winter.”
Mr. P. always picked on Mel. Mel was popular, a good student, and was a little out of it sometimes. He waved at the crowd as they laughed.
“We had a great year in all sports, but especially our spring sports. I know next year our football team will take football. Hey, Sam, try to stay awake okay?” Mr. P. loved to pick on Sam Walters too. “ Maybe you’ll learn something…like how to make a clean tackle”
Everyone laughed as Sam stood up and took a bow. Sam Walters was one of the best defensive football players.
Mr. P. continued. “ Let’s hear it for the Boys baseball team and the girls fabulous softball team. “
As all of the student’s filed up and their names were called, Javier looked up in the stands and found his dad. Javie was worried that his dad would have to leave before his award. He had only taken two hours off, and an hour had gone by already.
“Thank God the track team is next” Javier thought.
Mr. P. leaned over to yell into the microphone. “ Our track team was the best in the state. I do not say that lightly. We were the overall number one school in the state of California. Give them a big Cougar shout out! C’mon up!”
As all track teams everywhere were at least a of them all filing up while their names were read. Mr. P. shook every hand and hugged them as he had the other teams. Finally it was over, and Javier started to walk back with the others, but Mr. P. turned to the mic and said “Hold up people. I have something to say, There is one person that we need to particularly honor today, and I’m going to give you a couple of hints. This kid has not lost a race since 5th grade. Saturday at the state meet he ran the 100 in , the 200 meter in , and anchored the spectacular relay team with a personal best of ! Please rock the neighborhood for Javier Lopez!
The rocked the neighborhood, and then it was over.
As Javier walked back to class, Roberto caught up with him and put his arm around Javier’s shoulders, “Congrats Bro. Are you going to be there Saturday night?”
“Good, see you then”
Javier started sweating and it wasn’t even that hot.
It was one of those great nights in Costa Mesa; not too cold, not too hot, and a Javier could feel the cool ocean breeze on his face. Javier and his friends were sitting on the wall in the small back yard of the only friend he knew who didn’t live in an apartment or in a house with several other families. Roberto, his two brothers and his mother lived in this house. Roberto’s father was in Mexico. He had been deported two years ago. Roberto’s mother had a house cleaning business which employed five other men and women. This was the reason she was able to afford to rent the house.
Roberto’s mother was hardly ever there. She worked six or seven days a week and very long hours. Roberto was in charge of the house as he was the oldest. She was not there tonight either.
It started out as all of their parties usually started with some older guy buying the beer and everyone standing around playing the music really loud, eating chips and some Mexican food, watching a little tv….soccer maybe, and then the party usually ended with people making out, a fight or two, hopping in a car and going to find another party or another gang and fighting some more. This night was no different.
Javier had known most of these guys and girls since fifth grade when he came to the U.S and straight to Costa Mesa. His friends were like family to him, and now they wanted to make it a “blood” family tomorrow night.
“Javie, after tomorrow, you will be with us for real. It might be hard….. at first …the beating, but after that …together man” said Roberto downing a beer. He went on “”We kind of waited a long time because we didn’t want to screw you up for track and everything man, but now…” his voice trailed off….
Just then Javier saw Angela come in from the kitchen. He walked over put his arms around her and picked her up off the floor. She wasn’t smiling. He knew what was wrong. Javier and Angela had been boyfriend and girlfriend since sixth grade. Angela had lived in Costa Mesa for her whole life . Her father had taken care of her and her sister Gaby, since her mother died when Angie was ten. That was four years ago.
“Are you going to do it?” She stood apart from him her hands at her sides.
“I think so. They all think that I am. How can Iet them down?
“What! What are you thinking, Javier? What about you? You will be letting yourself down. Think about the trouble you will get into. You might be hurt, even killed. And look around you dude. Do you want this life?
Javier looked out over the yard. Carlos was making out with a girl, and had a beer in his hand at the same time. Manuel was watching tv and drinking tequila, Roberto was talking on his phone saying something about drugs.
“Angie, these are yours and my friends. We’ve all hung out together since the fifth grade. Sandman isn’t nearly as bad as FTroop and the others. They don’t do anything so wrong.”
“What about that raid on Ron’s party last week? And you know Roberto sells pot to kids.”
“No one was hurt at Ron’s and I’m going to talk to Roberto after Saturday about the drugs.”
“Angie, don’t be so dramatic. Look how long Roberto has been in and nothing has happened to him.
“He’s been picked up twice and spent the night in jail.”
“ But they let him go.”
There’s always next time.”
“ And what about the guy in the hospital”
“Roberto and Juan didn’t mean to do that and you know it. They were high.”
“Look Angie, they have waited for two years now, and I have to step up now.”
“Well, if you do this, you can forget about me.” Angie turned around and ran out.
Javier walked into the kitchen and reached for the Tequila.
Everyone was drunk. Angie had gone home hours ago, and Javier wasn't having a good time. He had too much Tequila and stumbled out to the old grey Studebaker that had sat in Roberto's driveway forever. Everyone in the gang had thought they would fix it up and it would be straight up great, but no one ever had and so it just sat there. Roberto's father had driven it across the border years ago when he had driven up from Mexico. Roberto, Manuel's and Javier's family all came from towns close together in Mexico, but they hadn't known each other.
Javier got in the back seat which was surprisingly large for such a small car and laid down. He didn't feel well, and hoped that he wouldn't throw up, but who cared about this old car anyway? In about five minutes he had passed out in a fetal position.
He was in his old home town. He could smell the town as he walked in carrying his backpack. The smells were the same only better. All the stuff he loved the tacos, burritos enchiladas......... everything. His old house was still standing and he walked down the dirt path to the door. How strange the best smells were coming from his house. "Someone else must live here now", he thought. He looked around a little scared that the people that lived in the house would be mad at him. Javier peeked in the door to the kitchen, and what he saw there made him almost pass out.
His Abuela was standing in front of the old stove making tortillas and was cooking on the back part of the stove. She looked great to Javier. He hadn’t remembered that she was so tall. She turned around and said, “Javie my Javie” in such a soft voice. She hugged and kissed him until he couldn’t breathe.
“ But Abuela I thought….they told me…” he stumbled for words. He couldn’t finish because his tears were on the way.
“There there my little Javie, don’t cry because tonight is the fiesta of the____. We will go together, but now let me cook. Go out for a walk down by the river. You might have a surprise.
He did walk down by the river trying to figure out why they told him that his grandmother had died two years ago. As he walked around the bend in the path, he saw a man and a woman by the river. The man was sketching the woman, but they seemed to be having a fight.
“Hey you!”, the man called out to Javie, “Come here solve this problem for us. Freida thinks that a woman is just as good as a man at anything. What do you think?”
“Better than a man” yelled the woman.
The large man walked over to the woman and picked her up and threw her in the air.
“Diego! Stop it! Put me down. I mean it!”
Diego turned to me and said “See my friend, men are naturally better. What do you say? What is your name? This is Frieda the weak and I am Diego”
Just about the time he said weak, Frieda hit him on the arm. Diego laughed.
“Javier. Diego and Frieda? Sure.”
Diego looked puzzled but asked again. “So my young friend, what do you think?”
Javier thought they were both crazy, but said “Senior Diego, I will tell you what I think if you will answer a big question for me.”
“I am supposed to be beaten up by my friends tomorrow night so that I can be in the ____gang.”
“What is this ___?”
“What is a gang?”
“A bunch of boys and men who are like family.”
Diego and Frieda just stood there looking at him.
Frieda was the first to speak. “Do you have a family?”
“Hmm. So you have to be beaten up to get in? Don’t be ridiculous! A man should be free to do whatever he wants, not be with a bunch of other men to decide. Look at me, I get in trouble because I do not conform …do you understand conform?
“The trick in life is to do what you want to do and answer to no one…” glancing at Frieda, “except a woman, of course”
Frieda nodded, “Yes to a woman, which brings me to the question that we asked you. Do you have an answer?”
“Woman are equal.”, and Javie winked at Frieda.
Javier and his Abuela went to the fiesta together. He held her hand just like he used to as a kid. He was still confused about what had happened to her and why they had told him that she had died, but he was just happy to be with her.
The town looked great. It was surrounded by light from …..Everyone was dressed up and ……was playing. Many couples were dancing, and they looked so happy.
Athough Javier thought of Angie, he had to admit there were several beautiful girls and women there. One of these beautiful women was standing over on the side leaning against a wall watching the dancing. She looked as if she was alone.
“Hi. Are you having a good time?”
“ A little” she looked a little nervous and Javie thought she might be just shy.
“Are you okay? You seem nervous”
“I’m fine, but Cortez will not like me talking to you.”
“Who is Cortez? Is he your husband?”
She laughed “ A little.”
“How can you be a little married?”
“It’s a long story.”
A man about Javier’s size came up behind him.
“ Ah, Malinche, who is this?” as if Javier was not worthy of talking to.
“My name is Javier Reyes. Who are you?”
Javier stared closely at the man who was standing, not belligerently, but clearly with personal power. “Cortez! That name sounds familiar.” It should, I ruled Mexico for a long time. I came from Spain with a very few men, and with Malinche’s help, I conquered the country.” Cortez put his arm around the woman.
“Yes, and they hate me for helping you. They call me Malinche the Traitor.”
Cortez thought for a minute “It is true, but wasn’t it worth it? You have Cortez and Cortez’s children.”
Malinche smiled “It is better than being a slave.”
Javier stood quiety looking at this couple and trying to remember what he had heard or read about Mexico’s history. He was so confused. First he found his blessed Abuela alive. Then he met two people named Diego and Freida, and now he is talking to Cortez and Malinche. How could this be. Then it hit him, and he laughed out loud, “This is a costume party fiesta isn’t it?”
Cortez stared at him. “What is a costume fiesta?”
“Come on, you know. It’s where people dress up and pretend to be someone else.”
Cortez grabbed him by the collar. “Are you saying that I’m just pretending to be Cortez? I have killed people for less.”
Javier shakily said “I’m sorry Senor Cortez, but I’m so confused. I got drunk, got in a car in Costa Mesa California, fell asleep and then came back to the town where I was born. I have seen my Abuela who everyone told me was dead, met Diego Rivera and Frieda, and now the great Cortez and Malinche. What is happening to me? All I wanted was to forget my problems and the big decision that I have to make.”
Cortez who was calmer now, said “ What is that decision, and what is this "car"?
Javier spent the next few minutes explaining the “Being jumped in the ____", and then a few minutes trying to explain a car, but then gave up realizing it was impossible.
“Ridiculous!” sniffed Malinche.
Cortez stood quietly for a minute. “I don’t know Malinche. A man needs soldiers by his side in this world. You should really talk to that man over there.” He yelled over the music and the chatter “Pancho! Come here!”
Pancho was a short rather fat man with a wide brimmed hat. As he wandered over looking as if he owned the world, Javier wondered if this could really be this could be the Pancho Villa that he had heard about.
Actually, Javier didn’t know much about Mexican history, but he did know that Pancho Villa was a hero to his people even though he was a murderer and a thief. But to the Mexican people he represented what they dreamed of....freedom and security. He was their Robin Hood.
In that tremulous little boy's voice, Javier said " Senor Villa it is such an honor to meet you. I have heard so many stories about your many victories from my Uncle. He told me about your soldiers and your amazing horses.
Villa frowned and kicked the dirt off his boots. "Ah, my beautiful horses. They are all dead now. Sadly they were the reason I was defeated."
Javier was confused. How could horses be responsible for a defeat. "Why?
"Obregon used tanks and big guns. My horses were killed and my men went down too."
"But they never caught you!"
"No never! said Villa proudly.
Cortez and Miniche had stood quietly during this conversation. Cortez quietly munching on a ____
Cortez turned to Villa, seemingly not particularly concerned about Villa's horses or his men, thinking about his own violent fate, but looked at Javier who was staring at Villa in confusion and respect.
Javier repeated the story
Villa stroked his chin and then thundered "This is no problem! You should stay with your men! There are plenty of women in the world. I should know I have many many children.
"Ah, then Pancho we agree."
Javier bowed awkwardly
"Thank you thank you . I don't understand this but I am so happy to meet you", tripping on a rock and walking quickly away toward his grandmother. He heard laughing behind him, but when he turned, they were gone.
Javie was almost blinded by the lights as he ran toward his grandmother, and someone shoved him hard so that he almost lost his balance. He heard someone say "Viva Zapata". When he turned he saw people running toward this little man standing in the middle of the square. Javier pushed forward to meet this man
I’m supposing that you are not married to Bob Vila, that your partner or friend is not a Bob Vila type and has probably only a passing acquaintance with Home Depot. My guess is that you have no idea exactly how competent you are, and that you need my friend Pam ….who seriously knows everything
How to outsmart Ebay
What to cook when you have nothing in the house and the guests are coming in an hour
Navigating Costco …did you know that their vodka tastes suspiciously like Grey Goose?
The best paint
Where to buy a rug
Everything you have ever wanted to know and more about tiles
Everything about Canal St. in NY, and there little back rooms
Unable to get to Canal St.? Where to go on the net. And in connection with
WHAT GOES ON YOU?
$3500 dress made for $300
Any dress Anytime Any occasion, any fabric, just send them a picture
Big event dresses should be ordered in china…www.bigdaydress.com
Rid usually used to get rid of lice is great for stripping hair to strip hair of buildup
Over the counter white strips …why give your dentist so much time and money
You can smoke, drink, worry and still have great skin using 2 and only 2 products St.Ives Apricot Scrub and Retin A product from Mexico online …Make a Mexican friend…
What goes on you has
Toss clothes you haven’t worn in a year, no drama or if it’s not a designer
Clothes to store
See through box
Small box for clothes are too big
Big box for clothes that are too small…extremely optimistic
Sell designer clothes Ebay, Craigs List, or have a swap party
The Halloween costume aunt sue made…
Set out clothes the night before
The sharing of the closet…fix their things so that you will have more room
Look at mannequins
Color….stick with black and simple colored assessor and what is wrong with that….add colored shoes, shoes, red shoes red purse red scarf red polish red belt red lipstick..
Warning…large pink pumps pink errings are not a balance
Use metalics if you are still afraid…match match…but not too much …not more than 2 things
If you braver…add color tank top under black sweater
Perfect figure sorry for you..you probably have no friends…
Shape find your shape in a magazine or google it….find website
Long waisted and short legged wear heels all the time..even to bed
Short waisted don’t wear tops that cut you at the waist
Dark for fat
Area that’s too big….hips…wear dark color in that area
Second hand Rose designer clothes…high end area
iOffer for replicas
Warnings…make sure they have been in business for some amount of time..reviews at bottom of page..% quality number
Know what you want to purchase…what does it look like …go to high end store and examine carefully and check ….the picture onfirst look…but ex..luis vatton …emblem upside down..
Ebay for lightly used clothing high percent are actually replicas and not the real thing
Cheap stuff.. Loehmamns good for the non staple item…printed cashmere robe…paisley printed blouse…
Macys ….go directlyto discount section…o not avert your eyes…
*** tip…don’t be afraid to ask where someone bought something
Someone else do it for you..pick me up a pink sweater…might be flattered ..mother daughter
Internet…find a designer that you like go directly to website…shipped
Coupons.com / coupon code…enter coupon code…10% 20% always has free shipping..pennys macys all have them…
Random …american sturgeon can almost double for Russian ostra
Really desperate….borrow a dresss from someone who has just lost weight…
****warning canal st ….seedy environment…parking…for kids andtourists…you can get everything at ioffer,and ebay…for used items
Amazon…coupons newer items…tell you the vendors…
Ioffer…chanel ….etc…canal st. only best sellers…umbrellas..2 styles…on iOffer get any style etc..
organizing and storing
Pay for bidding…don’t do
Hand washed …dark wrinkle free
Family…yearly trip..warm…much easier packing
Cold…really expensive..hard …
Tub for everyone…store it…tub in the car…
Benedryl pretest….see if they get cranky
Coach for the kids..first class for you
Doesn’t have to have a name on
Never never never pay retail….
Diamonds rubys emeralds saphires
****pam’s warnings…tanzinites and ….that a jeweler cannot tell..has tobe appraised…
Buying stone and setting ..fun
Craigslist…local..have it appraised…safer..
Easily test for metals….gold is great investment
Diamonds…need to know the four C’s
2 carot diamond worth….1,000 to hundred thousand
Immense learning curve…pam’smother and father…need to find someone that you can trust…
Tanzanite all been mined…it’s gone..kiss it goodbye…sad
Dicker in todays market …..
75 bucks…never pay more than 50% of the appraisal
Sell your old broken gold now.good market…sold necklace for
Website on going rate for gold
Photos of all good jewelry
Safe you can’t lift…fireproof…over 200lbs
Photo separate from jewelry …safety deposit box
Don’t tell anyone your combo
****every master suite should have a bolted entry….children’s friends etc….safe room
Store where it’s easily accessible …t-bar…and needs to be easily found…velvet…if I don’t see it I don’t wear it. Put it out the night before…
Distinction between junk and semi….semi can be purchased at the same price….as the junk….ebay…
Garage sale take with you…
Trends….big jewelry…statement necklaces teens to 105yrs cross gender fashion...
Pearls….cultured…most jewelers won’t
Cultured…put sand in them..inject colors..make them
More sophisticated ways of replicating
Color and sheen…more mirrored image better quality…perfect round perfect color
Go to pearl America.com….go to Costco …cultered pearl $200 at Costco
Where other than pam’s parents
Emeraldandrubys are mined….a million small that are worthless…large and inclusion…pearls and emeralds ..flat and cheap…
Synthetics are way better..is not fake..it’s powderize the material from heat andpressure….same but made perfect…go to jewelers…than the internet…flawless ruby on the net
****warning colored diamonds are irradiate..put color in diamond..yellow is not canary diamond….
Black diamonds are cheap…used to use for needles on old phonographs…used for industrial.
Junk and fads
____skinny light eybrows…let’s just say latesse used to thicken and darken lashes…use on eybrows
WHAT GOES IN YOU?
WHAT GOES AROUND YOU
Sentimentality…love letter to girlfriend..hallmark…wrote down favorite one..bachelor speech…hallmark..joke friend plethora and
Greeting cards plagerizing
Parties..2 days prepare…cleaning setting out items…shop for food next day make food…relax.
Small dinner parties…8 people have parties on one weekend…Friday, Sunday…house is clean…flowers are fresh…food for 16 instead…..h
Have small h’r
Don’t drink before dinner
5 senses…smell, music, touch…fabric…always good smell, music. ..drink …sight warm lighting..cold …toasty warm…
No over head lighting….on dimmer or not at all
House is better at night
When creating menu…only have one fussy dish…be attended to barbeque..tossing a salad casseroles…are good
Menus on website..
Always use cloth napkins
Entertainment….memories…distinguish your party…dancing picionary rock band etc…bigger party fortune teller…mariachi photo booth…props…jamming in with props…make scrapbook…
Pam doesn’t like big parties
If you can’t cook …go to big restaurant and put in your own pans…how to keep it warm
Chilean sea bass…bistro 311 put on own pan…
Have a little flour on your nose…wear an apron…sauted onion and garlic…
Deception ? yes
BASIC TIPS AROUND THE HOME
Plug ins…bath and body …and get re-fills or pier 1…high end…online….voluspa..trapp?
Asian spice and pier 1 …
MICROWAVE SPONGES DISHRAGS EVERY DAY
AND FINAL…SHAMMY SPONGE …SUCKS EVERYTHING UP
Polish your chrome and sink…to makeeverything look good…new sponge out
E6,000, wd40,crazy glue, ducktape,greased lightening, pam…spray your foil before covering casseroles…nothing will stick
Coffee ….prepare ahead…
book of etiquette…
WHAT GOES WHERE YOU GO?
WHAT GOES IN YOUR HAND
THE DARLING DEAR DREMEL
Polishing silver chrome brass and copper
Anything that can be polished and buffed
Wear down calluses
Wood …door has to fit..plaining doors…
Doing dogs paws…
Glass ….chipped..with water…
Hand mixer…zapper…use for everything in the kitchen
SOLICITING HELP AROUND THE HOUSE
High school students who need community service
Hire day workers…$10 and a lunch….
(if you notice the phallic trend….)
DECORATING YOUR HOUSE
Children….too young to know what their getting…gift card under 2
Stalk a child at Toys R Us…if you don’t know what to get a child
And you are also there..
No gift cards…get something
our world….clothes to look good when they go out with us..Presentable…macys sales….socks underwear…
Their world sports, video games, techie stuff, music, bose earphones,
People to give what they tend to want…or receive..
Parents …..sentimental…photos…time and not $$...thoughts…photo frame preloaded…cd of fav. Music…record books
Same as girlfriend or …sd
People you don’t really like…something that’s been in the gift reservoir for over a year….
Last minute impersonal presents or stockpiled presents or stockpiled personal….iOffer….20 bracelets…links of London $12 with shipping…
Mass presents…at tj max…if you buy for one..buy for two…
*** try to make something impersonal more personal…choose your own…candies…the newer candies…
Should always wrap the present…not use a gift bag…large bolt of white wrapping paper…internet… ribbon at Costco…
Wrap riboon around your hand
Fold in half
Cut into the middle at the half way point …
Tie a second piece of ribbon around tie it off
Spread open each side…to shape
Keep balloons…tie with ribbon…make that your ribbon…
Water balloons..six inch…
SAFETY TIP CARS
Never follow an old car
Cars racing always come in twos
Never change lanes…”Lane Loyalty” especially in cities
Fake flowers with real
Climate to grow tomatoes… bull testicles to dna toalter plant ….expensive to buy…if you are going to do one plant do tomatoes
DECORATING FOR HOLIDAYS
Forget Christmas….emphasize fall…three months…Christmas is one month….sept..oct nov…
***secret room predecorated
Greenandred floodlights that reflect on your house
STORING HOLIDAY DÉCOR…COLOR code your bins..store in clear bins..green Christmas, valentines green..
MY FRIEND PAM KNOWS EVERYTHING
OR HOW TO DO ALMOST EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF